Pain. Body aching. No appetite. Hate being a woman.
Mission-near-impossible.
"Ur husband will only be ur husband, when he is six feet under."
I am not protected quoted from Adrian.
BA0117
Plasmatifield.
Start the day without milk!
Those stated above is actually inspired by Sara's best points of a husband material, hence I lay my pen and wrote mine too. Reality is different from what I wrote. No one will satisfy all the above so I guess I am just wasting my time doing rubbish... bleah:P
Damn! I got a ghostly encounter.
Oh man! without knowing all my projects are due soon n tests are coming up.
Pardon me for not coming skool, the lack of concentration during lectures or even looking zombish.
yesterday was fun!
Was talking to a girlfriend of mine
High!
Wat's ur love number?!
Friendster horoscope is fake.
Today's Forecast
I hate polite guys!
Looking at the pic, I forgot how charming he looks.
Vera, another who suffered under the hands of her boyfriend(ex i hope).
Early nights and no onlining make xian a even more tired girl.
Finally dare to add stocking in friendster. Good start!
Meaning I dun like him anymore.
He too likes someone according to his testi.
Even better, I made a right move.
RWPS is due on friday and I still refuse to lay my hands on it.
The total dun wan to do anything feeling... grrrr!!!
Thinking and thinking...
is it me or the world is so realistic?!
I am one sucker! I judge pple by their first impression.
Some looks u know cannot make it, but a heart of an angel.
Some looks like a sex goddess, but a heart of a slimy snake.
Who am I to judge?!
realistic as it is, pple still knowingly judge pple.
"hey u look at that couple, yucks... the guy so gd looking the girl so ... wat a mismatch!"
"watch that! the fat girl wear short skirt!"
Blah blah... everyone is guilty of that, I confess!
Was so free... I edited a few pics...
fun times shared in the toilet... is a girls' thing! U guys wun understand.
_guise_
some random pic taken last week....
~a view from the cockcroach~ I like the smug on her face
personally, i like this pic.. the swirl of the tree leaves~ (close my eyes and feel the wind)
wat if sunflower/ life lost its colour? will it be still beautiful?!
Ever wonder why indians can sit everywhere and anywhere!
Wonder y they like to purposely stand so close to u?! no offence i am not racist... just that being a curious kid, i wan my doubts being answered.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
To save 3k for China ITP.
Parents? Nah... To them they don't see the importance or understand the purpose of it.
IS EXPOSURE!
China market is so the NEXT BIG THING, if u get what I mean.
Is a once in a life time thingy and I want to be a part of it.
3K includes accomodation and meals for 6 weeks?! Wat more can I say?!
Is attachment for job sake!!!
Candidates who are interested are rich kids I bet.
Studies wise?! I am no smart kid and results in yr1 is horrible.
CCA? Worst, I am a slacker in cca and dun not like responsibilties that carries in cca.
Chances of getting in the interview?! ZERO!
Erm... but guess I will still try.
So now... I guess save wat ever I can.
If not, that will goes to Bangkok trip fund den:>
Monday, August 29, 2005
How come they can't just be faithful and love one?
Is so ridiculous to love more than one person excluding friendship and family love.
Men can cheat and expect to be forgiven but why can't women?!
Women will be label as sluts or prositute becoz they cheat?!
Ridicolous!
Is a equal society now!
U don't want ur wife to cheat! Men, u better don't too!
U will never imagine how revengeful women can be!
Heard all the facts and hitting by the realistic world again, I believe that being single is still the best.
Not being treated like a fool thinking ur another half love u as much as u love him.
Not knowing that he has another one somewhere and him telling the things he said to u.
Argh!!!!
I hate this world!
Thursday, August 25, 2005
I saw it again.
This time I am more calm.
Boo. I wonder why me?!
Today, there's a accounting test.
Screw it. I am only half bucket now.
Past few days, alot of pms-ation which dun come from me definitely.
I was in no mood for tolerating hence whatever came I hit it back.
Meaning war.
Sometime is so irritating to tolerate and pple keep pushing u.
ARGH!
This is when I will start pulling my own hair and flame coming out from my ears.
Monday, August 22, 2005
huixian. 19 years old.
looks, average. Fair. Used to be sporty but now more like couch potato. China eyes. Transversite- like voice. rough. Quite polite yet vulgar. Occasionally unhygienic. Wrestler. stubborn. fast with words. Outrageous. fun. male? female?
That pretty much sums me up. i'm trying to turn into something i've been trying not to be since God knows when - a lady. Trying to wear clothes that whisper watever figure i own, instead of my surfer tee and surf shorts that were the ultra cool cum sporty vballer style. Friends used to critisize the way i dress. Huixian, you should dress more lady-like. and behave like a girl but when I start the transition, i've been getting the OMG HUIXIAN!Is that u! eh.. im not used to you being like this leh. so what the fuck issit that you all want?
woo wait... less swearing.
I laughed like a crazy woman ran out from Hougang chalet.
Talk like a committee member of the wet market.
Drink like there is no tml.
Eat like there is no more of such tml.
Sing like I am winning?! (Sexy Robbie's album)
Vera taught mi to play the game.
Fel tells mi everytime to loosen up and enjoy the flow.
It ain't ABC!
The wood block-ness in me just denies me from doing that.
If the status is friend and purely friend. I can talk to him about everything!
But not good looking guys or the guy I like.
Is ar...gh....eh...erm...
The curse of the virgin?! haha
Watever
QANL
21 Sep 2005
2:00pm - 4:10pm
BA0075
MR
23 Sep 2005
2:00pm - 4:10pm
BA0209
FMA
28 Sep 2005
9:00am - 11:10am
BA0400
BLAW
29 Sep 2005
9:00am - 11:10am
BA0260
PSCM
30 Sep 2005
9:00am - 11:10am
Exam scheldule! Damn.
No more fun.
No more beer.
No more Chivas.
Is back to the studying mood.
Urgh! I hate it!
Bird's rabbit died.
I am sorry. My condolescene.
$160 for my Batam training.
Guess i gotta squeeze whatever I have if not is going to be tortourous.
Work every weekend.
Maybe I should find another job?! I dunno
Sunday, August 21, 2005
Two continuous nights there.
Not pretending I enjoyed there, absorbing there like a sponge quench for thirst.
learnt the power of a woman, running a pub(hey that's my childhood dream), life and me.
I didn't know girls have that special power to manipulate guys.
strongly believe that is onli applies for the pretty girls.
Life and me?! I better remain single and not available till I am ready.
Late puberty I called it. haha
Quoted from Shirley: No one is indispensible in this world.
I hate to agree with her but yeah welcome to reality.
Friday was eventful.
Head to little india for threading, mustafa for shopping and down to plasma with big bags.
Reason?! Vera is leaving and I want to say bye to this sweet friend of mine.Mentor you should say.
Gotta talked to Casey, Fabian, Vanessa, Rico, Shawn and Meisha and is quite cool lar.
Prefer going in small small group where everyone is more willing to open up unlike when u are in a big grp.
Matt and LK was there too.
Can sense that Matt really like Vera.
Really...
Jia you the two of u.
Saturday wad real boring at work.
Hearing repeated complaints from fel about her relationship, no dogs and no fun.
Whole day playing the same grp tring to sqeeze into the pathetic top 10!
wu liao us.
We reached plasma due to miscommunication but I guess is fated. Intention was to go Breeko.
Plasma on Sat was packed. So sweet sweet vera reserved a table for us.
She is leaving for wherever today.
Bon voyage my friend.
Projects! Still up to my neck. Can't breath.
That bloody Stocking still haven't reply me.
Friday, August 19, 2005
Damn~ Ever tried eating cereals with water?!
Taste horrible.
Finally PSCM project is done.
Enough of those covering pple's arse.
I hate doing pple's work, like I said is their work.
Y must I do their part??!
I pity them coz there's a upcoming test this morning and I bet they must have rush till yesterday night to finsh their crap work.
IS all raw datas... no elaboration no extracting of relevent information.
Wat is an analysis?! damn lar
No more next time I told myself.
No more grouping with them.
Sze I totally understand now.
I know I am one of them in the sense of sentence structuring.
Sorry ar..
At least I helped you read n extract their crap.
Test.... I am not studying it le.
Tired.
I missed Vera.
Tot of going Plasma tonight but I try jioing von along with me.
We'll c.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Husband material!?!
Is freaking scary.
Green flashes and tapping on my shoulder when I sleep.
Body went numb but I am super awake.
I talked to Stocking today.
Very di da.
Endless one lar.
Project is going well...
MR still untouched.
Rushing projects is not fun.
going library to chiong is even more sian.
The results is satisfying though.
Sze and I laughing away, preparing the handouts and helping each other with the different sections covered.
Loads of mine-stepping in btw which I think scare Bya but is due to the perfectionist us who wants to do our best in our shitifield projects.
Everyone is stress and worked up but no worries.
Next thursday, Cafe cartel anyone?!
Yummifield!
I dun hate skool but just that i hate rushing stuff.
Blame it on my horoscope.*shrug!
Monday, August 15, 2005
NO more drinking n plasma for the month.
Adrian called to warn me not ot get too involved with Plasma.
Studies or watsoever are affected.
I gotta heed my big bro's advice:>
He worries for me.
Back to M.
Haven't been seeing him around or anything.
Doesn't matter much anyway.
Only got felicia to blame.
If she dun keep emphasising he is a good catch, I wun even think of knowing him.
Sorry, not that he is not good.
He somehow not the type of friends I have. Too polished.
So pls noted! Whoever!
M is a tourist site.
Not for long just an attraction. Get it?! Pls stop thinking I hua chi-ing for him le.
friday, marketing research test.
This week hand in supply chain management project.
Next week hand in report and fma test.
Release the demons in me and set my spirit free!
Had been browsing loads of tattoo designs.
There's a few that caught my eyes.
butterfly? fairy? stars?
I wan custom made!
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Changi Village excusion.
First was Lok lok(the malaysian steamboat), fishing came next but last but not least, ba pok viewing.
No alcohol no smoke just plain healthy living.
Fun.
Lok Lok was at least filling to the stomach.
Satay looks scary to me now, somehow.
The feeling is near to eat till sian
The daring us, ventured to the Changi Beach.
You know stories about the beach during the lunar seven month.
I am a hum ji-_-"
Tents, fishing rods and fishing nets are the most common thingy there.
Is so fun lar just watching pple fishing.
Aeroplane just fly behind u and so near that you can see the logo of the plane clearly.
Sea and the horizon quietly stood there provide loads of serenity and comfort my heart.
Starts just above ur head like comforter wrapped you when u r sleeping.
Just when we are really chilled out, a man walked towards us and said there's an eel somewhere.
Stared at each other, we jumped up from where we were.
The light shoned, is just in front of me and I did not take note of it at all!
I may have an afro hair without knowing why!
The man was at least kind enough to tell us.
Indian chinese, we were shocked to hear him speaking chinese to us.
We expect him to be like the others, malays!
Windswept hair, prespiration that taste salty due to the sea water and sandy us were all ready to watch the buzzing night life.
Everytime we walked passed a lady who is good looking, we will have second thought whether she is a trans.
The pretty trans is really pretty.
Walking in bikinis and short shorts and touching her breast when talking to the MEN in the lorry who stopped pass to ask for "PRICE"!
Typical model build.
Long silky hair.
Huge boobs!
We are hit by the fact that they are even prettier than the real women.
Their figure is woohoo.
Men....
they came for them to perform blowjob or anus sex on them.
Cheap I heard.
But is erm... abit er xin.
But u know men are superficial.
Next destination, geylang red light district.
Any takers?
Friday, August 12, 2005
a girl who bares the same birthday as me but 2 yrs younger than I am.
She believes that as long as the guy treat her well, the both of them can be an item.
Erm... Hello?! Whoever treats u good doesn't mean u like/love him?!
Her thinking: When she is in a relationship, she still can go on a date with other guys.
No physical contacts or whatsoever. Plainly keeping her options open.
Wat the hell is this world coming to?!
Call me old fashion!
Keeping your options open is only when u r single, not attached!!!
She swoons over guys who treat her like dirts and lust over her.
she knows that those guys onli wanna have sex with her but unlike me, she is very da fang abt it.
I am a whiner, a loud speaker, basically a nun.
I will scream and scold the guy upside down.
her bf or the new guy?!
I dunno and refused to make the decision for her.
The idea of me ruining her life scares me so it all depends on herself now.
All I did was to talk some sense into her.
Being single sucks sometimes but most of the time, enjoyable.
The promise of getting into a relationship is enticing however like any other things, it always attached cons.
Pain inflicted, troubles, tears, arguements and jealousy.
The green eye monster u never knew u were or freedom being controlled.
I believed in fate.
When it comes, it will come.
I leave it to god to do wat he thinks is best.
I accepts fate but also create them.
Chances slip when u least noticed it.
I hate regrets hence somewhere somehow I will do the unexpected.
That's very rare though.
Thursday, August 11, 2005
I indugled in all the updates from my bitches.
wat is my fond-est memories I had in my 19yrs??
caught me in between.
deep down I think is alan. Is memorable.
Sucker but yes fond memories.
High! Damn high!
Plasma yesterday so cool.
The most irritating part, we didn't get to sing the songs we liked.
Priority songs to other table?!
NOt first come first serve anymore?!
Watever~
Adrian and the group left.
Onli von me and jeremy....
We still can high by ourselve!
Maybe another place.
Ice cold beer?! nah boring.
Better hunt for another hangout before I get bored with plasma.
Stealth was good, unexpectedly.
Tuesday with morrie can't wait to read it just got it from kino!20% discount!
argh! I am skipping skool again and everyone starts calling me.
Baddie I am but I know wat is going on, I hope:P
Is good to be missed.
Spent whole day helping out in EP as a "special guest".
Reading self enrichment books and avoiding calls.
Leadership training in Batam! I want to go.
War games I like! Rafting I craved!
Is going to be fun fun fun!
Resort and fun. How cool ar?
Joel going to bangkok tml... raw hides... erm...
I bet matthew will not get it so better pray joel will.
Tml, plasma?! I dunno.
Too many late nights and I bet adrian pocket got big lobang le...
So not nice to go down again.
We'll c!
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Your LOVE NUMBER is
1 if your birth date falls on: 1st, 10th, 19th and 28th
2 if your birth date falls on: 2nd, 11th, 20th and 29th
3 if your birth date falls on: 3rd, 12th, 21st and 30th
4 if your birth date falls on: 4th, 13th, 22nd and 31st
5 if your birth date falls on: 5th, 14th and 23rd
6 if your birth date falls on: 6th, 15th and 24th
7 if your birth date falls on: 7th, 16th and 25th
8 if your birth date falls on: 8th, 17th and 26th
9 if your birth date falls on: 9th, 18th and 27th
1. You are affectionate and passionate. At times , however , your strong personality can be abit overpowering , scaring off potential suitors! Try to curb that intensity every now and then and you may get a chance to find Mr. Right.
Your love match: A guy who doesn't mind being dominated once in a while
2. You are described as ideal partner , loving and romantic.In fact, one of your life's priority goals is to find the love of your life.But remember to keep it real , too or else , no guy out there will ever meet your expectations.
Your love match: Someone who isn't afraid to bring you back to earth from movie-romance land.
3. Attractive , imaginative , outgoing , loyal and generous too. You definitely don't run out of admirers.
Your love match: A man who wants to know more about you, rather than talk about himself.--> True. It bores me.
4.You fall in and out of love so easily.Could it be because you often mistake infatuation for the real thing? Resist being impulsive when it comes to love and take your time to know the guy.
Your love match: Someone who is patient and can tolerate your erratic behavior.
5.You go from one emotion to another so fast and so often , it's hard to keep track! But you're intelligent.You are also bold and daring , and you enjoy the finer things in life.
Your love match: A man who can accept that he may not be your no.1 priority.
6. You are quite the charmer but you can also be warm and nurturing.But beware of the green-eyed monster in you. Your needs or affection can make you clingy.And one more thing , stop going after unavailable girls!
Your love match: Someone who can make youfeel secure.
7. Your a deep thinker who happens to be romantic , gentle and sensitive. Seek someone who will love you as much as you love him , someone just as tender and generous. Be careful of those who will take advantage of your idealistic nature.
Your love match: A one-woman man who is ready for commitment.
8.You are sophisticated and at the top of ur game.Being confident , independent and very successful in your career , Some may see you as cold and detached.But , when you find the right guy , youcan be quite passionate.
Your love match: Someone who is trustworthy
9.Creative, intuitive and imaginative , these three words describe you best.You are also quite impulsive when it comes to love , making your love life unpredictable.You are also passionate and loyal.
Your love match: Get a guy who digs and understands your artistic nature
Pls read the entry below... i edited it!
Wat kind of attention I got? Nothing lor!
Did enjoyed myself till I know Adrian know M.
OK Vera u got girl. Yes is him.
All along I know I am not his cup of tea and I never force him to drink it.
I mean wat the hell with just seeing?!
people nowadays getting so so so ... i dunno how to say.
Adrian yesterday got me slapped by reality.
Rugby players are Fu*kers.
So is M. He heard alot about him and asked me not to thread on still water.
erm.... I admit is quite sad but is all for entertaining purpose lor!
Like wat vera said, my options are always open.
Is not I am choosy just all the guys they intro me got abit of problem! Over age!
The age gap is too big lar. No topic. no linkage.
haha I am at a cute little age. 19!
Wee, way to go lar.
Nice chap and should get a nice girl.
I love F.I.R. Plasma finally got them.
Maybe one day, I will bring my town kakis down for a drink.
Add on:
In this very kpo mood today.
People feed my constant need for gossip!!
I forgot to paste the message.
so here it is:
huixian wrote: i am a polite girl:> anyway is FUN FUN FUN.though this time kanna cheated for a few times, lousy hotel and stuff. Overall is still good.One day, u should go there with ur friends.
his reply:oh.. you mean girls like you exist? well, think your an endangered species. i would if i get the chance i guess. how'd you do for caS?
-_-" there are plenty of such girls around just that u don't notice them. I replied that to him.
Adrian pls stop introducing guys to me or pushing wee to me.
Felicia pls stop using my name to sms matthew and telling me this n that is not very true.
Von pls wake me up when reality refuse to hit me.
Bird and Sze pls meet up! I need to chill!
Jeff n daniel pls organise a town kakis meeting.
Isolation terminated. Back to my fun fun fun lifes.
No more scrable or watever monopoly.
I am more of a heart attack(uno) person!
Monday, August 08, 2005
A few people have their eyes on you, all for different reasons. Someone thinks you'd make the perfect sweetheart. Someone else wants to move you on up at work. It's all up for grabs if you want it.Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and right now everyone is beholding you as a pretty luscious sight to be seen. You know how to take care of yourself as if you are someone who is extremely valuable, and for a good reason -- you are. People respond to your innate self-confidence by wanting to be around you. You've got your pick of companions. While they're appreciating your beauty, why not go out and appreciate some art together
Gd!!!! I am going pubbing today. Sounds cool...
Me shine?! haha
We'll wait n see.
I cut my hair. Looks kuku banana.
Dun laugh!
Add on:
Dun haf the feeling to go pubbing.
Everyone thinks I am hua chi.
Is not anyone there that makes me want to go.
Is the "be myself" feeling.
Hate it when Fel used HIM as a weapon to stab me.
Basically hate anyone who brings HIS name out just to disturb me.
Low profile I seek.
I won't do anything that I am not confirm of.
Now I dun feel like going anywhere but stay hm.
Stocking replied to me. I didn't know till I click messages to know I have an unread message.
Endangered species I am. haha
Sunday, August 07, 2005
I really do.
They just reply ur sms without asking who the hell are u?!
Damn man!
So it doesn't make a difference if is just an aunty or an uncle.
Didn't go down to anywhere. Not plasma not anywhere.
Need an alcohol free weekend.
Adrian is back, jeremy joining us on monday and von n me are complaining we put on wt!!!
Fatal seduction on monday?!
I dun care anymore.
I am there for a show. To see onli!
Friday, August 05, 2005
His typical ACJC look that all girl swoon for.
I am talking about M.
Cute ass he is.
Making me want to be one of the girls who swoon for him.
Enuff of my hua chi! haha
Did my guardian angel 2 cheated me?!
Am I being heated AGAIN?!
Tests results were a surprise to me.
I fare well.
I am not smart and darn lazy.
Wonder how I managed to do that?!
Think God have plans for me in life.
People have started confiding in me.
Is afterall not a bad thing, a more in depth way of knowing a friend.
However, is weird.
I just start sitting down and there one goes tell me the shit they encountered.
Diao~
I mean how come? Y me?
Puzzled.
Loneliness is scary but the scariest thing is when you don't know who your real friends are.
All look true to u but is it all a fascade ?!
Sunny day today, think I better enjoy my own solitude after my photography class.
Walking my dog or swim?!
Think both.
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Know of a few cases but it never occurs to me that girls will keep quiet about it when they are abused.
Definitely not me.
First, I am whinny and I never agree to "beating is doting and scolding is love".
How sick can a man be hitting someone who is less capable to retaliate?!
TOTALLY SICK!
All girls stand up for urself.
Only U can beat the monster and wat's the point of holding on to a relationship which only brings you hurt?
Love doesn't have to hurt to feel good yah?
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Tot of recovering all the rest I lost during my holidays but to no avail.
Bleah! I hate it.
Adrian is coming back on sunday, guess it means more drinking and late nights in Plasma.
Need to finish my stuff before his return if not I will flunk all my shits!
He replied me.
Surprise! I tot he will never do.
its alright, your not obliged to reply yea? hows bangkok? never ahd the cance to ge there before. anyway, my holidays stunk. boring as usual.
huixian wrote:sorry for the late reply, I was in bangkok. Glad u solved ur stuffs so how's ur hols so far?
This time slightly better I guess. But I don't like guys who like themselve more than others.
Saw his profile in friendster. Those pics... haha... ok i keep quiet.
I am being fussy again.
Watever~ Life! I hate it!
Monday, August 01, 2005