Freaking late now but I ain't sleeping.
It’s getting hectic everywhere that I go
Sometimes, have you ever tot of asking ur friends around you to fuck off?!
I am sad not becoz Sebastian is out of my life but JW thinks i am a sucker for relationship
I am in this state now:
Today I am going ot dedicated this to my friend, daniel.
What the hell is happening? I need to score Anyone? Pls contact me and kindly do help in the organising hor. I have time constriant.
Little India= Threading! haha
Freaking sad seh.
Ideas project done!
Hate it when people talk and no actions out of them. Not talk you know, command should be the word.
The previous entry supposely have my thoughts about the quiz but.... (lioness roars)
I have confessions to make!
Love the girl in your heart, not in your mind. If you base your relationship on feelings, it will fail for there are ups & downs in feelings. Girls are there to be loved, not toyed around.
He is the first person I have to see him leaving.
So far apart we seem right now.
你好就好 ni hao jiu hao
Nobody will die without another person. Hence, Girls please wake up ar!
PUbbing will be so different without Adrian. (Xin fu orh)
He is breathing on his own again~
Blenheim is brain dead.
It hurts me so much to see him lying there.
Drinking is drama. The good old drama at nine o clock.
Had chilling session with the SEX, jeff, khai and Peg.
Was cool! We played True or dare.
This time I know about loads of secrets. +wink wink+ haha
Bribe me to dig out information from mi! haha
Was late for CRS paper but anyway was fun doing it.
I attempted the qns on Do you agree that Singapore has a long way from being a gracious nation? I agree on that and had fun being sarcastic. Mine was short as compared to others who used more than 2 pages to finish their 300-500 arguement.
Thought I was the only daring one attempting that qns, dan and quite a few did that too.
Hard days made me
Hard nights shaped me
I don't know they somehow saved me
And I know I'm making something out of this life they call nothing
I Take what I want
take what I need
you say it's wrong, but it's right for me
I won't look down
Won't say I'm sorry
I know that only God can judge me
Monday, March 28, 2005
They won’t leave me alone
There’s things they all wanna know
I'm paranoid of all the people I meet
Why are they talking to me?
And why can’t anyone see
I just wanna live
Don’t really care about the things that they say
Don’t really care about what happens to me
I just wanna live
Just wanna live [x6]
Fighting spirit low
Holiday mod high
Playing mood soaring
Daphne Wee LiLing, I see through you.
What a bitch you are.
You tui bu qi wo and now you said I tui bu qi ni.
Er ren xian gao zhuang..
I asked for the sake, I didn't even comment.
Dun make urself sound like a victim, you never was and never will be.
Modules after modules.
Sem after sem.
Friends after friends.
Fun after fun.
I enjoyed, I have fun, I grew, I experienced but have you?
Saturday, March 26, 2005
I do! not once but many times.
Insensitive creatures!
Is always about them being heard and not hearing others.
Is always my fault and never their fault.
Is always freaking hell me lar.
Expect me to date them out.
Expect me this and that.. and more expectations.
Insensitive words hit me like shit but I can't show it.
Insensitive jokes hit me like fuck and I can't even retaliate.
If I do, I have to pacify them by saying sorry or watsoever.
In relationship wise is never fair I guess.
You did so much and what you get in return? NTH!
What are friends for? Sometimes I asked myself that qns.
Thanks a few who carry me through in the recent episode.
Ling, Dan,Peggy, Von, Fel, Jw, Sze...All of you are appreciated.
Especially ling n peggy. Thanks a million :>
I maybe single but I am not despo.
If I am, Y would I asked JW to help me asked him to bug off?
JW made me choose between Him and Sebastian.
Without hesitation, I choose JW.
And he gave me this crap!
Fine lar! Go ahead and think whatever shit you want.
I am a whore or whatsoever.
I don't give a damn anymore.
Don't asked me about Sebastian.
I don't wanna talk about him.
I am sorry.
I want out!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Half time pls?!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
SHA^GU says:
you'll realise that you seem cant accept those suitors
SHA^GU says:
though those suitors not that bad. but you just can't bring yourself to accept hehe
xxRagefirexx......Yi ! Er ! Yi Er San Si ! says:
i so gd to u
~<<---( ¯ `hUixIAn ´ ¯ ) --->>is there something missing?yes, life. exams sucks says:
where got?
xxRagefirexx......Yi ! Er ! Yi Er San Si ! says:
everynight send u song
xxRagefirexx......Yi ! Er ! Yi Er San Si ! says:
pei ni liao tian
xxRagefirexx......Yi ! Er ! Yi Er San Si ! says:
make ur life enjoyable
xxRagefirexx......Yi ! Er ! Yi Er San Si ! says:
got somoene to ding zhui with u
xxRagefirexx......Yi ! Er ! Yi Er San Si ! says:
at night u go home got someone care abt u
xxRagefirexx......Yi ! Er ! Yi Er San Si ! says:
sms u ..
xxRagefirexx......Yi ! Er ! Yi Er San Si ! says:
blah blah blah
xxRagefirexx......Yi ! Er ! Yi Er San Si ! says:
still not gd ah
~<<---( ¯ `hUixIAn ´ ¯ ) --->>is there something missing?yes, life. exams sucks says:
haha...
Who is ragefire? He is the one who msg me in friendster.
The msg is as follows:
hi ! u are actually very pretty ... just that ur nose is out of place ... it kinda spoil ur looks .... it ll look perfect if its smaller ... just a pass comment .. pls do not take heart ... ^^ nice to know you
This guy is freaking daring and frank. That got my attention! Angry and amazed by his daring-ness.
Okay we chatted online n sms.
Within a day, he made an impact in my life. I am getting used to his smses just within a day.
He is a flirt, I told myself.
But I can't hide the fact he cares.
xxRagefirexx......Yi ! Er ! Yi Er San Si ! says:
ichiman nen aishiteru
xxRagefirexx......Yi ! Er ! Yi Er San Si ! says:
means ai ni yi wan nian
~<<---( ¯ `hUixIAn ´ ¯ ) --->>is there something missing?yes, life. exams sucks says:
piangz..
~<<---( ¯ `hUixIAn ´ ¯ ) --->>is there something missing?yes, life. exams sucks says:
u like the song so much ar?
xxRagefirexx......Yi ! Er ! Yi Er San Si ! says:
what song ?
xxRagefirexx......Yi ! Er ! Yi Er San Si ! says:
no la ..
xxRagefirexx......Yi ! Er ! Yi Er San Si ! says:
nth to do .. soon pian declare my love for u
xxRagefirexx......Yi ! Er ! Yi Er San Si ! says:
u lock up ur heart mah so now i must find the key to unlock it
xxRagefirexx......Yi ! Er ! Yi Er San Si ! says:
whahaha
~<<---( ¯ `hUixIAn ´ ¯ ) --->>is there something missing?yes, life. exams sucks says:
for waT?
xxRagefirexx......Yi ! Er ! Yi Er San Si ! says:
so that u ll be xingfu ?
xxRagefirexx......Yi ! Er ! Yi Er San Si ! says:
i donno la
Touched right? But hai~ ONE DAY ONLI LEH!
Everything seems so fake.
He likes the girl in friendster... Not the real xian with a chubby figure.
the person i like don't like mi, the person i dun like likes me.
That's speaking from all who experienced life.
He is also quite romantic. He sent mi a song by jimmy lin - you ni de si jie
Not a lovey dovey song though. haha
Monday, March 21, 2005
Thanks for everything~
You are greatly appreciated.
Happy birthday~
All the best in every shit you are doing.
Wishing you a berrylious birtday~_~
So sad. Right after skool go home le. HELLO! is your bday leh!
Mine will be sad, didn't know yours sadder.
Get a life!
Hope u like the NIPPLE TAPE i got for u... haha.
I like it but don't know suits you anot.
Saturday, March 19, 2005
I am slacking.
I am not revising when I should.
My friends are no where at sight.( work and projects)
Fats accumulating everywhere.
Stupid problems are creeping up to my lumpy neck.
I don't have time for myself.
Can hardly breathe with all this stress.
Tourism as the first choice. Right or wrong?! Too late to regret.
I have already submitted.
Hot option but I still don't feel the urgency to study.
PLAN! Plans for the coming holidays!
Not fun to wear tube and something to little india. You will get stared.
Hate those stares! Totally erk!
Daniel, is not that I think i pretty or what, BUt they are staring and I am not thinking too much!
Argh!
Men just don't seem to understand do they?
Had a mutabak, a very expensive one! S$5!!!
Chatted with Adel and Daniel.
Talked alot about my future half.
Do i have high expectation ?
My standards for good looks are high but that doesn't applies to my another half.
I dropped my standards not becoz I am despo. It just that when you grow up, you perceived different qualities.
I ain't the same for some people. I must know the person, trust the person before I go into relationship. I don't believe you talked to me a few times and meet up a few times and DANG you like me.
Ridiculous laR!
Anyway, I need to jian fei le. I feel freakingly fat.
Ling, I don't wanan be ur fei zai! haha
Tell you all a secret, I like guys with small tummy. So cute! Again is SMALL tummy.
+hint hint+
Friday, March 18, 2005
Bird leaving for Taiwan on 1st Apr and will be back in mid May.
Meaning? No birthday celebration for me. FINE.
Sze may be leaving for Hong Kong too. Diao~
No birthday celebration too. FINE.
Luckily, I am heading to Bangkok too if not my holiday will be SIAN SIAN SIAN.
Better fine something to do during the holiday and seriously I should stop drinking for a month.
The bulging stomach is getting way too obvious.
I need fun! I really do.
Found Corn boy in friendster. His name is Yao Ming. Diao! Andrew Pang's chinese name.
21yrs old, single. haha.
+ dreaming in progress+ leave mi alone to dream!!! haha
Cafe discussion done!
MOB done!
YEah almost everything done only left exams! argh!
Won my bet from Ping yesterday.
Not an easy bet I must said.
I over estimated my ability.
Thinking that 3/4 cup of the normal Science diet measuring cup will be okay for me.
The first few gulp was okay till I stopped. The overpowering after taste of Vodka overtook me.
URgh!
Luckily, jeff was there.
Talked alot to him, though he thinks I was drunk.
He bought me ice mountain and strawberry bun. I got to say, the bun sucks!
haha
Jeff, thanks leh! Peggy u too...
Thanks for calling me and smsing me.
Feel so xin fu!
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Since you are so good den why don't you just volunteer yourselve?
Only comment and endless comment will not lead you anywhere.
Stop asking there's anything to be done, find something to do.
Don't assume! Assumption should be ban for god's sake.
Clarify it to see the whole picture, it may be be what it seems to be.
My hatred for "ALICE-LIKE" girls grow overnight. Don't pout your lips as if you are Angelina Jolie. Don't have the assests don't flaunt it!
Is disgusting. Don't act demure when you are not~ Is worst than disgusting.
Argh! ~ ~ need to cool off~
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Back to guys who understands me.
yah.
As we grow older, we seek different things.
Remember the days, where everything seems to matters.
Where looks are everything, where everythings means somethings.
But as we grow up, everything doesn't seems to matter anymore.
Look doesn't matters, size doesn't matters, height doesn't matters, education level doesn't matters, nothing seems to matters.
A few qns adopted from quiz:
What quality MUST he have?
a good part of him must just open up to me and let me know the real him
What attitude must he have?
a guy who can understand me and what i go through in life
From the past till now, there's one qualities that has never been changed. That is he must reads me like a book. Know me inside out. I think I asked too much but who cares?!
I think I should slp now
~~~~~~~~ chill ya~~~~~~~
You like the ones that understand you.
What kind of guy are you most attracted to? (CUTE anime pics)
brought to you by
I said I am a Bi-sexual but actually I am STRAIGHTER than a ruler!
I do look at girls and analyse them but ain't it natural?
Adrian is my type of guy, ahem! Character wise only!
p.s Daniel, I don't like Adrian. Stop assuming I do!
I hate Sally, the itab bitch!
Screw her not worth mentioning.
I dislike RUGRAT!
That was disgusting... I shouldn't have type it here! argh!
I hate being treated like a BOY! I am a girl lor~!Why can't they treat me like lady hur?
I wouldn't retaliate if you don't attack.
I want to look good. WHO DON'T?? I don't deny but I ain't vain.
At least, I don't cover my face with powder!
Like every other growing teens, I am curious about life.
I like to try any shit that I think is exciting. eg wakeboarding, sky diving
Seriously speaking, if I got body like ANGELINA JOLIE, face like J.LO can moan like PARIS HILTON, I will definitely opt for one night stand. haha
Seriously, I think is irritating when people say you sure got bf one. Hello! Must I have one to be HUMAN?! Is supposed to be compliment I think, but is IRRITATING.
HEnce, that's for the confession of the day!~
Saturday, March 12, 2005
Love her for who she is. Don't even think aboutchanging any bit about her. 6 billion people in this world & 6 billion different personalities. She's special & she will stay that way. You change any part of her, you'll change her forever. Don' tsubstitute her for anyone else, they are just unique in their own ways.Love whole-heartedly. She sacrificed a lot for you so you'd better really treassure her. She could have just got up & date a so much more dashing guy in town but she chose you instead al lbecauseof love. So love her guys, not play with her.
Don't just get the girl to beg you to stay or whatsoever. If you're with her, love her. Don'tcause a strain in the relationship, you'll end up lovinge ach other out of pity or charity, that's no trespecting love at all. Respect love the way it is & everything will be the best it can be. I've been there & I know how it feels.
Don't expect perfection from her. She's the only one in the world & she's done the best she could.
Like another girl while you're in a relationship?Then I think it's time you remain single for a while.Don't go around breaking girls' hearts, it's the most tragic thing to do.Tell the truth, never hide anything from her. If you want her to tell you everything, do the same. Don'tgo calling other girls "honey" or "darling", howwould it feel if your girl calls other guys the same way? Be faithful, enough is enough.
Socialise only when you're single. You socialise & flirt around is to get the girl of your dreams. Get it over when she's already yours, don't ask for more.
It never kills to be romantic. Think, be flexible.Getting that diamond ring isn't the only gift for her.Be realistic, she's human & she lives life just like you. Something sweet & simple always get the job done. Money doesn't exist between couples, it's the love.Never promise her that you'll love her forever because your forever might end the next day.Love her as if each day is the last.
Sweet talks only apply for singles, not for attached guys. Do that & you'll really break your girl's heart.Isn't good being too well-known too, it'll give her asense of insecurity. Remember, INSECURITY.
Promise her & make sure you never break it.Swear to her & make sure you keep it. Pledge your love to her & her alone.Loving her is giving her your heart to break it but trusting her not to. Instead, she'll cherish it &protect it. That's love. Give her your heart, yourlife,your everything.Lay down your life & prepare to die for her when the need arises. But stay strong & live through another day, she can never live without you.
Never, ever walk out of her life. She won't just cry her heart out & carry on living as per normal, she'd die. It her heart that you've broken, how would you ever know how she feels?Winning a girl's heart isn't the final victory. Don't leave her once you've won her love. Love her all theway till the end of time, love her till marriage, love her till old age, love her till death. If you can love her till the end of time, you've earned the honor & respect for you've truly loved her.
She chose you because she believes that you can fulfil your promise. Win her heart & love her over.Remember, the girl isn't a trophy for display, she's someone to love, not to show off to your "friends".Stay humble yet proud that she's the one for you.Respect her for the way she is, never despise her& never mistreat her, never even think of toyingwith her...
From Friendster Bulletin.
Friday, March 11, 2005
In my tender age of 19, I got to witness death and life like this.
Adrian said, If the person's time is up, he is leaving. That's life. Take it easy.
How to? Seriously, how to? Luckily the fact i am not going to see him again haven't hit me yet.
I pray it would not hit me at all.
I halfway expected he is going to leave. I woke up at 5 out of no reason.
He died at 5.05am.
I am amazed that he tahan for so long.
But this time, he is tired.
Pray that he is better in heaven.
Blenheim, I love you.
I really do.
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
You speak to me, I smile inside.
Inseparable people said,
Isolation is all I felt.
Happy outside,
inside the doubt left unanswered.
看见你聊到了他而微笑
我心里那点遗憾不见了
你的最後选择是谁
忽然之间这个答案已似乎不重要
我肩膀永远等著你依靠
但是我更不希望你受困扰
我把时间对摺一遍
从前未来唯一重叠
要你很幸福
这心愿不动摇
只要你好就好你好就好
其他的我不计较
就算我会烦恼就算我会焦躁就算我会被忘掉
你好就好你好就好(要过得比我好)
我的爱没有句号像过去那样做到
对你的付出坚持不肯少
Nice song highly reccomendable. Love the lyric.
Life had been really boring lar. No ups and definitely loads of down.
Been working, studying and loads of projects.
Doing all the above aimlessly. I need a goal!
Should start penning down what I want in life.
This time realistic ones:P
Been eating like hell.
Excuse: Coz I am down.
My excuse to find HAPPY FOOD like ice cream, chocolate and pistachio.
The joy is temporary lar.
Need rest. LOOk at my 黑眼圈!
Was reading eileen's blog.
Same thought!
"I don't complain about being single. If I can't find someone, then let it be. Won't compromise.Have been living my life the way I want, occupied with work, parties, time alone at home.I am happy and satisfied."
You go girl! Speak what's in my mind.
Must we look for someone to make our life complete?
I doubt so.
haha ( hint hint~ you know who u r)
She bu de ta? So?! Is better to bu tou bu qian. (Pleased with my theory)
Bird was asking me what type of guys I will foresee her with. Tough question.
I gave her an answer but not a very satisfying one.
She also gave me mine. Adrian.
haha Nice chap, fun and took real good care of me but most of all he can control me.
If i have a choice, I wouldn't mind Adrian lar. (HEy I am not all about looks, Adrian not good looking)
Adrian is really really very nice la. He was smsing me saying if i need anything just call him to tell him. Love my brother!
I also love my real brother! Everyone praised the Mickey mouse canvas my bro designed. So cute but sadly is abit big for me. Think I better get him to draw one for me:P
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Adrian took real care of me since I reached ICE COLD BEER at Somerset.
I learnt YI YANG ZHI bit I failed badly:< hahaha. Always miss terribly.
All the playing, all the laughters, I like.
Adrian asked me what brand of watch I like, he intend to get me a watch I guess( I already got my present from him)
I think he even wanna treat me to KL. Lame Von said he won a ticket to KL but sadly is befroe my exam period:<
I really really feel so xin fu:> Got such a brother to teng mi:>
hehe
Went Sisha-ing in Railway road.
Not the first time seeing it but definitely the frist time trying it.
Alan bought me to Clark Quay and cajoling me to try it, I never did. Is liquid form of smoking without Tabacco.
But I never did with him.
But I did with Adrian:>
OK lar, quite cool. I tried apple mint flavour. Was menthol-ish.
smooth and whatever you wanna call it.
Is really good to have a elder brother ar?! Everyone already tot we are siblings. We got the same surname, physique and the way we play haha...
I wished next month quickly some so he can come back and play with his little sister! haha
Sunday, March 06, 2005
His brain is not dead~ Praise the LOrd~
I wake up this morning with swollen eyes. NO more crying man~
I didn't know the news till evening.
Glad. Pleased.
Mixed feeling in me.
I lived my whole afternoon with Blenheim at the back of my head.
Kept reminding myself that I am strong, I will be strong.
The cry baby ain't Xian.
She is the strongest, noisest, most demanding and most stubborn girl you will ever know!
That's me!
Thanks JW.... You know what you did. I am deeply touched.
I'm gonna be alright
Saturday, March 05, 2005
I hate to say he left us for good.Half of me wanted a miracle to happen but half of me want him to suffer less.
For god's sake, he is only 19! Bright future in front of him. Such young man is not supposed to die just like that!
HE got big dreams that have not yet been fulfilled!
I don't know what to say and who to say to. I just feel like crying.
I can't sleep or daze. I will think of him and start crying again.
I ain't that strong ar?
It has been hard for me recently.
To appear happy when I am not.
To console people when i am so broken inside.
To hide the saddness in me so people would not worry.
To appear strong.
Is time I disappear.
Friday, March 04, 2005
It hurts me even more to see him like that and all I can do is cry.
I cried. my heart is so heavy.
I felt like nothing in this world is beautiful anymore.
It hurts to tell.
hurts even more to think.
Thanks everyone who cared. I am fine.
I just need some time.
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
Horny rich bastard trying to tackle young girls and willing to be screwed woman.
Hard a hard time being a babysitter. Luckily, got Von to help out.
Saw blenhelm. Speechless. Like Ping said, its your presence that means alot not what you said. I saw the sms, I felt so so so much better. As compared to those who tries to tell me about miracles and prayers. Ping just knows what and how I am feeling.
No more regrets in life. I am going to live my life alive. Do things I never going to regret. Regardless of confession, being true, anything...
Pple.. Life is short...
Tuesday, March 01, 2005