I need to sleep.
I wanna cry.
Supper at 12am... ?
There's this doubt in me since I started schooling. Those who are closed enough knows there's a HIM. Yah
Sound phoney~ But is time I thanks all the people in my life
HAppiness is.... Blah blah blah.. we human are just not contended with what we are having now.
V day is a day of love and a day to spend with your love ones.
Long time since I ever mention this name...
I watched wo jia you ci he dong si.
We had another meeting without S.bitch again~ Fun lar... Did threading and both of us dressed up. Putting make up and dressed nicely. haha Pretty awkward I must admit.
Haven't get enough sleep recently.
First the test periods, then project periods and last but not least, the drinking and supper sessions with working colleagues.
Argh! i need to sleep. Continouse action. Monday working in HV, tuesday going Chomp Chomp to celebrate Bird's birthday and then go pongol to celebrate Felicia's birthday. Endless leh.
Go pongol? Abit too far and sure drink like hell.
But what to do?! Felicia leh, the one calling the shot.
So freaking tired!
I think I will dosed off in the train to Simei.
Ciao running later le....
Pi pi pi...
Thursday, February 24, 2005
I wanna break down.
I wanna stop studying.
I wanna drowned my sorrows.
I wanna die.
I wanna sleep endlessly till I think is time to wake up.
Argh! Freaking stressed! Projects, exams, friends, work and internal conflicts.
I am part time Miss Agony, part time pet lover sales assistant, part time groomer, full time student and full time listener cum entertainer.
I am freaking tired!
I am heavily loaded!
I am a jealous pot!
I am materialistic!
I am petty!
I am superficial!
And most of all, I am stupid!
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Out of desperation, I smsed Gene to help "entertain" Bird due to some situation at hand. He was really nice, he called Bird though he is sick and did not tell Bird I was the mastermind if it!
So we planned to meet ofr supper at 1am actually but changed it to 12am since he end early. COOL! I am not a supper person but you know, Bird, Sad .. so I obliged and I went.HE was suppose to pick me up first. I called him and he asked in CHINESE! Where.... you... stay? Piangz! Laughed till I cry! Bird and I was really excited lar. All the calling and shit just enlarged our anxiety.
He reached and gave me a call. He damn funny! He stopped at the shelter(idiot! trying to protect his car?) haha ... I asked him what colour is his car, he paused for a LONG LONG time. Hello?! You don't even know your car colour? haha
Went I got in. He was asking whether I cold anot? I wear jeans leh! Plus i got mroe extra fats than he does. He was wearing berms and a green top so different from the jeans and nice top model, Gene, I saw that day. He wanted to drive out but didn't know is one way so in the end he got to drive in and turned back. While turning, got this Afghan looking woman walking in front of the car with a pot on her head.. We freaked out and was screaming away! haha.. Bird was on the line! haha Two 38s all screaming and laughing away! haha
We had bet on the way to yew tee to pick up bird. Was funny! I was laughing all the way. LOst our way to Bird's place and were listening to 90s club songs. All sound familar.
Talked abit, laughed alot and he is really nice lar. He is different from what i thought he is. He is funny, lame, knowledgeable, kiddy, auntyish and big brother! haha Interesting combi!
I didn;t though he was good looking till I went out to meet him with Bird. He is handsome lar after knowing him.
so we went to drink at bukit timah. Had loads of fun. Listened to Bird's gel story and making fun of gel... haha... He is lame lar... Real Fun!
Monday, February 21, 2005
HIM. Haha.. Funny how life tricks me, played me like a fool. Finally, this is the final time I said this. I am withdrawing in this game.
Had enough le lar. Is time for time out. I want out!
Is like getting no where and you know how tiring to anticipate?! Always leave me drained and silly.
Thanks to BIrd and Cheng story. I learnt alot.
NOw, I am applying it!
Dun understand? Haha You are not supposed to understand! ahah
Saturday, February 19, 2005
Starts from the special people:
S.E.X
Sze:
Love ya though sometimes you are up to my neck. You tested my patience and stretched my tolerance like no one ever did(except my sis).
You did small things that really make you love you all over again. Think all arians do small things to touch pple's hur~
Thanks for reminding that datelines are coming and exams are arund the corner. thanks thanks and a million of thanks
Eliz:
How much I love you?! Bigger than the earth.
This silly girl, always make me worry for her.
Don't what runs in her brain?! Don;t know what is she thinking right now?
So tiring to keep track with her oncoming thinkings.
Always giving me and sze false alarm, scare the hell out of us
Bird, you make me so jealous of whatever shit you have. Regardless of relationship, wits, the guts and even your cute(act) abilty. haha
Thanks, thanks thanks... thanks a million
Poly
Daniel:
Lan like hell but i like him the way he is...
He did small things for people. He surprises people with his wits(rarely).
But he is really irritating. Always pushing the wrong button.
We had fun and happy moments together. Is all that matters. Thanks for everything
I really appreciated whatever you did, like bother to tell me your secrets, tell me to take care of myself when I go clubbing and ask me to stop drinking. I sensed that you care, thanks.
I am getting tired with you le, dan. I really did. All the initating to talk, joke and everything, hence lead to the silent moments outside taka.
HOpe this is temporary. Thanks once again.
Peggy:
A love n hate thingy.
Sometimes, I will steer clear of you coz I scared I cannot control and will shout at you but Sometimes, I will wanna stick to you for you who understands me.
When things happened, you are one of the few I will tell to.
Thanks for understanding... Thanks again
Jeff:
I really hate him for being a fool in love but it really hurts to see him in that state.
He is MR Nice... Seriously lar, there are better girls out there. A good example is in front of you! MI! Adeline! Bird! We are the nice species!
If you like me instead, the story will change you know.+wink+ haha.. joking
Your niceness shines out in the light when you stnad nextt oany other guys.
That's your good points.
Thanks for helping me... thanks again
Adel:
Recently grouchy like fuck! Just wanna steer clear you in case you fire.
Nice girl with her own sense of humour. She herself is a humour.
Thanks for making me laugh.. thanks again
Ling:
My secret friend. Not many knows that I am actually close to you.
But why must people know?
Help me with account recently, a good teacher leh! Surprise! haha
We shared alot of secrets together. She always help me take pics of my eye candy without me telling her. So nice hor! Help me make a blog skin of daniel wu somemore!
Thanks for everything... thanks a million!
Bern:
A special girl with a special talent to draw. My manicurist, my anime artist. I like her.. I really do.
Thanks for drawing for me... Thanks
Wei:
We used to be closer, always msging each other... Though we are not so close le but you know i still care ok?!
Thanks for everything...Thanks!
Thursday, February 17, 2005
We said that if the PERSON cares and show concern to us, is happiness but when the Person did that, we think is not enough.
Greedy, always hunger for more than what we can get. I seriously think I am such a bitch, the whole world is telling me that he treats me damn well but the way I treat him is like shit. I am sorry but I am like this! Whenever I like someone, I will push him to someone who I think is better both character-wise and looks-wise. I just refused to believe that I can be that someone in his freaking life.
Seriously, I think I am sick! I used to have a major crush on Joey Loh but I refused to tell anyone not even Sze and Bird coz Bird likes JOey like Hell too. I just silently swallow and bottled up everything. Come to think of that, I think I am such A siant or a fool. Alan's case also the same. Haha
I like seeing people from strangers to friend and from friends to lovers. I like seeing them together and their xin fu look is what I seek.
Haha Sound like some angel from heaven to help the lonely souls right?! haha
Just now, I saw Daniel trying on sunglasses outside Taka but I did not approached him. Bird did. It looks as if Daniel is her classmate and not me. From then on, I knew a fact that second year things will change.( just like then) I am not one who approached someone in that manner. Even if I see my friend, I wouldn't call and said I see you leh! I find it.. lame?!
Cissa was quite surprised by my action but kept quiet... haha Did I mentioned, I like Cissa? Yeah I like her! She is so so so Taurus! Just like me! haha by the way, she is older than me by 1 day! so freaking cool! I will like to see her more often! ahah
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Piangz! Never really enjoy Vday that much. Up till now, I still dread it.
What's worst is not the anticipation for admirers giving flowers to you, is actually getting scorned by ur own love ones.
"So how did you spent your Vday? Must be lovey dovey right?"
Hello?! Lovey Dovey with Left hand or right hand? +roll my eyes+
"So did u got flowers? Dun haf ar? Aiyo.. should haf told me ma. Den i can get u!" +jaw dropped+
Hello? My house downstairs got plenty of flowers, don't need you to ke lian!
What hit the most was that even my docky dad got tulips for my mum! Hello?! My wood block dad?! oh man!
Bird was like saying, last year she spent Vday with Huilee and this year S.E.X. Next year, she will definitely celebrate it with her BF(if any). I felt even sadder. Sze got $4 and Bird got Gel. I got nobody:<
I understands that life is never a bed of roses for me. I understand I am never the lucky ones. I am expecting nothing from no one. All I want is that someone treats me better and if possible dotes on me. I don't mind helping him out in his life/relationship, I don't mind being a spare but as long as he don't let me habour any foolish hopes.
Man, a species of bastards. Always playing their hunting games, always ... always alot of shit things lar. Can't stand them! Seriously considering being a lesbian, at least we girls know what we girls want.(or maybe not?)
Aiyah, the best is fling around lar. If I have the criteria and the assests, I will!
I totally forgotten his voice, face and how he looks like till recently.
I haven't since him but his presence in my life was tremendous.
Last year's Vday, we spent it together with Kat and he got us each a Vday gift. My first Vday gift though is super cheapkate! S$1++ haha
He is the only guy that makes me feel like a woman. HE treats girls well and he take cares of me. Last year, the year of tigers fan tai sui. HE helped me to go temple to help me resolved and when i got my O lvl results, we went ot the temple together to pray.
Imagine that.... Such nice guy right.
I seriously missed him... romantic-wise or brotherly-wise
He changed me and mold me into a better person.
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
I cried.
I was touched.
I was dreaming.
How i wish?
In the show, that's this tai ci~
" wo hui ai ni yi ge, teng ni yi ren, bu hui qi fu ni, bu hui pian ni, dui ni shou de hua dou hui zhuo dao. Ni kai xin shi wo hui pei ni, ni shang xin shi wo hui dou ni xiao. you ren qi fu ni wo hui bang ni... "
If ever, ever any guy who said it to me and meant everything he said, I will be very touched!
BUt i know man well enough. The minute the love is not there, they will just lose interest. Completely! Saw it with my own eyes and now guilt has starts to eat me alive. Sorry Yvonne:<
Fel said that man are like that... you can love the person but the sparks were soon be gone and no more excitement. Some men will stay on out of obligations.
So sad~But this is part and parcel of life and love.
I am so scared now, so scared I cannot take this hurt and pain. Think I should be nonchalant about this lovey dovey thing.
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
Did talked and Fark man! I wun wanan go to Little India during weekend and back to Bird's threading shop. That girl snapped the thread for a few freaking times and it hurts! haha The bangas were really staring ! Ah! I felt so molested!
Went K box with Dan's friends. Total disappointment! MOdels? Oh man! How come standard so different de? Desmond the act like some shuai ge... Cannot make it. Nigel, too ai yan le and Clement, too quiet.
Keep commenting on pple's singing... Hello? Desmond u wnana be simon from American Idol? Don't do it in front of me.Fark off! I am not joining some talent time... I wanna just sing the way I like I love!
New Yr sucks.. nth special... Ang bao and eating nia.
God,Dun let me grow fat!
Thursday, February 03, 2005
Your Dominant Intelligence is Interpersonal Intelligence http://www.quizdiva.net/bt/interpersonal.jpg">>
You would make a good counselor, salesperson, politician, or business person.What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?
True? haah
You Are 18 Years Old
Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.
13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.
20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.
30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!
40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.What Age Do You Act?
I am 18+ so still not far ar... haha