Wat do I have to say?!
Tomorrow skool reopens le. I know I learn very few stuff but who cares?! At least I learnt right?! I hate life. I really do. Not that I am not happy just that I dunno wat am I here for. Everyone has a reason for being around. If finding the another half is the reason den I really die. Wat's the point? Is it all about the other half and not about urself? Do I believe true love?! I think I do not. OKay, I have never experience REAL TRUE LOVE. Yah yah yah but so what? Look at those love fools around you! Sec skool kids hugging each other as if they really understand what is love! oh! Dun cheapen the word love! Damn I think my menses is coming.. ignore mi... steer clear too i may snap!
I am truly broke.
Freshies!!!
The Bottom Line
Was walking along orchard when KNN a lady pass me and von a pamphlet!
Being fat. A crime?
PAIN!
Battle scars all over the once smooth hands.
Holding back my tears...
I have always wondered if my love would be reciprocated.Not in terms of boy girl relationship, but in all sense and all kinds of relationships.Friendships, Partnership, normal non-juicy relationships.
How exciting?! I got into my second choice...
Oh man! Menses!!!
Yesterday, Von n I went to her cousin's condo to do SAUNA!
Everything seems screwed for most of us.
The type of guys I will go for~
Was chilling with the Bitches today.
I am fleshy according to JW.
I learnt that not everyone is the same as I am and not everyone will do things the way I do.
Fuck! Can hunger be that torturous?!
Skool Sucks! I can't imagine I felt alone coz I usually dun!
Getting antisocial? perhaps
My onli consolation is Sze will rush back for me after her cca week thingy and of course specky boy:> We are in the same lecture for quality watever fuck.
I have always noticed him not becoz that he is cute or watever.
Just that I saw him a few times outside when I am in my ugliest!!! OK blah blah blah...
I can hear dan saying you are always ugly ma... HEY U! Shut up ok?!
haha I mean after grooming!
He is left handed lar... I found alot of lefty! MI, Kailin, specky boy.... blah blah Jeff.... ok.. not so many after all.
Hope today is a better day....
God pls let it be a good day...
Sunday, May 29, 2005
Am I excited?
I am not.
I regret not working today, is totally boring at hm!So in this long break did I learnt anything?
Saturday, May 28, 2005
Penniless!!!
Watched Amitty Ville again, think I am really really interested in reading up on the house itself.
House of Wax vs The Amitty Ville Horror
House of Wax is totally typical lar!
A bunch of pple set out to watch the season's football match but on the way met with a misharp.
This Bo and stupid Vincent person set up a town of wax where everyone in the town were make of wax.
So they killed whoever who's in the town and make them into wax.
The most interesting part is that it is real gross. Nto really that gross but is realistic.
You can see the murder snip of the finger or attack the ankle or pouring wax of a living being.
That's all, notting much lor.
Unlike Amitty Ville.
You have to understand the house, the story and the link.
It totally freak me out. ok, I am hum.
Dark humour, thrilling, scary and worth watching.
Okay I am biased.
The actor in the show is MANLY!
haha Heard he is Alanis Morriset's ( watever you spell her freaking name) husband!!!!!
Damn! Lucky girl.
Friday, May 27, 2005
The Keys to Your Heart
You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when everything is uncertain, one moment heaven... the next moment hell. You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now. What Are The Keys To Your Heart?
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
I like DBA05.
I like Kai Lin.
I like Raymond.
Those are the twos I first disturbed and really talked to.
Tiring but entertaining enough to last me a few weeks.
Some bimbs, so snobs but overall a good class.
They complaint that there are only 3 guys but all of them off some standards lor, unlike mine!
haha
I dunno about the others but I am really drained from all the talking and entertaining.
Let mi sleep my days away....
Saturday, May 21, 2005
You're the belle of the ball, the leader of the pack. People love you unreservedly.
In Detail
There's something about people who are just a tad too intense that you've always found extremely interesting -- not to mention exciting. Someone who answers that description will be along shortly. Your job is to take your time getting to know them so that you'll know if they're just dangerous in the exciting way, or dangerous in a truly dangerous way. The good news is that rushing you isn't an easy task, so you won't be pushed into anything you're not comfortable with.
They're intense, sensual and highly perceptive -- and they're extremely interested in you. Before you count your blessings, however, be sure that they're not also just a tad too much.
Look familar?!
From friendster horoscope, si bei accurate man!!!
Today, Simon asked Felicia if he had chance to court me and keep harassing me.
I already did avoided him and was pretty mean towards him.
Very hard to explain here but I was not giving him any direct contact.
I felt uneasy and damn disturbed by him.
Freakingly shagged from work and mentally breakdown....
I am swimming in my own thoughts.
Guess where is it from?!
Marie France Bodyline!
Christy Chung's body haunting and taunting me.
"How I wished I am like her..," a secret wish both von n I had.
We couldn't stop sighing after scaning through Christy's figure.
Damn!
Wat a way to spoil ones mood!
And previously, we saw Irene Ang in person and freaking hell she did lost alot of weight!!!
Damn it!
How come I am not as lucky as her to be sponsored to loss weight?!
I will be more reliable as I am just a nobody and more people will BELIEVE in Maria France.
+Pout+ Life is never fair for mi!
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Was watching discovery channel and I didn't changed the channel coz they were talking about fat people.
Personal topic. Not many will get interested but I did.
How women got so stressed up with this topic?
Blame it on the commercialised world.
The ads, poster and even models we stared at are all skinny.
No fats, No spare tyres!
Stars are so slim.
Everyone is in diet mode...
I must be this and this.
Look at my fats?! Look at my thunder thighs!
Sound familar right? All women said that.
And according to some stuff that I read previously, guys actually dun mind girls' ht but wat matters is their wt!!!
superficial piece of shit!
Pls die!
Let mi drown in my own fats and suffocate with the layers of lard.
Sunday, May 15, 2005
Can you freaking c the teeth mark?!
Is from an abused maltese!
Not abused by me of course but by its own owner.
Rubber band treatment on the dog's muzzle.
Evident red mark on the muzzle.
Poor dog but you are not forgiven!
I am so so so innocent!
Pic cannot show you how swollen it is now!
But looking at it u can onli hear pple say aiyo!
No lighting ... if there is ... you will c a very red scratch.
Like wat william said this comes with the job.
Saturday, May 14, 2005
Wrinkled hands due to the washing.
I still cut the nail till the dog bleed.
Work for so long still like that.
I think I am deproving.
No mood to work also.
People thinks that I am getting prettier.
Am I?
Don't think so, they are just being kind seeing me so moodless.
In this world only one things is constant which is change.
Every now and then you can notice changes evolved around you.
We may be very close now but time drift as apart and we may not be as close as b4.
I may be chirpy and noisy now but age may tone me down.
this type of things very unpredictable.
Bleah I am nonsensical
I can't possibly imagine myself in another class.
Getting so used to Jeff's stupid actions(nice-ness), Peggy's mo-ness(ti tie-ness), Adeline's aunty-ness, Daniel's fan-ness, Ling's di siao-ness, Khai's mischeivous-ness and Jw's reliance-ness(sweet-ness).
I'm so going to miss our class,1A01/1B01'2004/2005.
Though they are still familar faces in my class but is different.(luckily still got sze)
These people mentioned above had helped me or walked through dark times with me in someway or another.
Jw as usual, did a very ultra sweet thing. He smsed me and the other town kakis saying to keep in touch and he will surely miss us.
I almost cry.
Flashbacks for the past one year like a movie started screening.
Things that we went through, shits that we did, fun that we enjoyed and the late night talks.
If not for the Bitches and them, I may not have recovered that fast after Blen died.
Jw always surprised me with his small little things, good or bad.
I kinda regret and guilty that I didn't really give a damn about him when he needs me.
But he is always there when I am pit bottom.
Regardless Blen's case or Sebastian's, Jw always tried to help me and think the best for me.
In some way, I am always the one taking care of him but no one really knows that he too took care of me.
Jw n mi in Kbox
Cliques in Kbox
The girls that knows my soul
Thinking things in another form, we are taking another phase of our lives and achieving greater heights.
Separation is part of growing up and part and parcel of life.Bleah!
I am still trying very hard to convince myself.
Hope our friendship are like the bitches, withstand so long and still so strong.
Friday, May 13, 2005
If I was willing to give my favourite icecream cake to you, would you give me your favourite desert?
If I was willing to spend time on finishing the project, would you do the same?
If I was willing to send you home at 12 midnight, would you do the same?
If my close friend died, would you comfort and encourage me like what I did to you years back?If I bought a Crumpler bag for you, would you do the same?
If I sacrificed my sleep for you, would you do the same?
If I lied to cover your tracks, would you do the same?
If I laid down my life for you, would you do it for me?
Not everyone will, but I am sure somebody will.
But it takes time to find that someone.
Are the friends around you that someone? I dunno
As usual, I should have expected it.
Is always like that isn't it?
First the poly now the option.
Am I happy about it?
Not really but is not all about SCM.
Is the fact that I am super Bu gan Xin!
My results is better than some and yet they can get into their first choice and yet me?!
Damn 2nd choice!
OK. TM is a hot option and blah blah blah.
I only got myself to blame lar.
Like wat greg said, biz admin is just a cert after you finished poly and option does not means you are majoring it but providing you a scope of it.
Every two hr, I have to freaking change pad!
Imagine how much blood I have lost?!
I can only blame my emotion on this stupid period.
BOO!
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Horrible!
I missed last month and now all flooding on my night use sofy pad!
I can feel it gushing out!
I tire out easily and in no mood to make conversation.
Need to work extra hard before skool reopens and start packing my things b4 my mum screw me upside down.
Been meeting the bitches without sze recently, she is busy with archery and FOP.
Poor girl! so lifeless...(wat i think)
But she enjoys it.
Was discussing with Bird about us being too hiam.
Seriously, we think that we have too HIGH standards for guys.
According to Bird, she can't bring herself to bring down her standards.
How about mi? How low can I go?
I seriously did give in some thoughts.
When I am playing pool, singing k, shopping and even on bus.
C! I can be real serious too!
Think as i grow older, looks dun really matters anymore or maybe given with my qualities I cannot judge people just by looks.
bleah!
I wonder....ten yrs down the road, how will my life be?
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Expected ourselves to last longer but is freaking hot and suffocating.
But nevertheless, we managed to squeeze our stubborn blackheads.
The fats? Still as stubborn.
Swam! I simply love swimming!
Von only allowed me to swim less than 50m which is lesser than one competitive lap!
Shop and more shopping. I mean for von.
Subway had never been nicer!
I am now a subway fan!
I was quiet.
Think sauna makes peoplt tire out.
How could you?
How could you just forget about me?
You refused to start talking or you simply forget about me?
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Many of my friends are having relationship problems and financial difficulties someway or another.
Nothing seems right.
No matter how hard you tried.
Confusion in relationship.
Is he/she the one? Is he/ she playing games?
Wat ifs flood the landscape of your brain.
Being a firm believer of no regrets but also a hardcore taurus(slow and steady hence take very long before jump into a relationship), it makes me even harder to come to a conclusion.
I am trying to be somebody but I am not trying to be somebody else.(dun understand nvm)
Who am I?
Is not about that jackie chan movie but who is the real you?
Alot of us lost ourselve is this realistic world.
Are you being too used to yourselve wearing the mask to face the people that you forgot who is the original you?
+Scream out loud+
I will find a way out.
Monday, May 09, 2005
The result shows...
The Fun-Loving Fellow
Party on! Whether at a gathering with friends or in line at a movie, you pick out the most personable guy of the group, and it's easy to see why: You enjoy a good time and a good laugh and need someone who can appreciate these as much as you do. A man like this is great to have in your life because he can hold his own in any situation, and with anybody. The one downside is that he is not necessarily discerning. He may as easily chat up your three-year-old niece as his beautiful next-door neighbor. But don't let his flirting be his fatal flaw; instead, remember it's what drew you to him in the first place. But do keep in mind that his "playfulness" may make it tough for him to settle down.Sound like he is a big flirt! Haha...Yesterday went O bar with the grooming kakis and it turned out to me a matchmaking session for me!"Which one you prefer? The big guy there or the another?""Mai siao lar! I prefer being left on the shelve!""Don't you think you are very dusty le?!"Haha my small conversation with Adrian.Seriously, currently I really enjoy singlehood and love the control I am having.Unless I found someone who I think is worth me forsaking what I am having now, I will leave things like the way it is.
Saturday, May 07, 2005
Was telling them I feel refreshed after holidaying.
Told Bird that I am actually anticipating problems to surface in my life but I never expect it to be that soon.
My sister and I are going to start skool and my parents expenses will definitely increase.
Textbooks?! transportation fee? allowance?
Did I mentioned that July I am going bangkok again?!
I feel so bloody guilty now.
So bai jia!
Sorry no more late night, no more cab and not more clubbing.
I gotta pay for my textbook and spend lesser of my parents money.
Good things doesn't last long!!
Friday, May 06, 2005
Chubby according to von.
I can't eat now guess is the best time for mi to lose wt.
Jw said I am already used to my fats(evil) and is very hard to lose wt(true).
I wan to prove to him I can be slim! ok.. not totally slim just not like this!
I just need time... I believe I can do it!
Thursday, May 05, 2005
Expectation(according to sze) of one shouldn't be that high.
Or should I say, no expectation at all.
I expect pple to treat me the way I treat them but is not always a two way thing.
It can be quite sad lar.
I intend to invest on a financial plan for my future. I ain't young anymore.
Fats had been a part of me since I turned sensible, is time I rid it!
haha I am determine( i guess)
Results released tml, I know I wun do well so I expect not so good results.
I just pray I wun repeat modules.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Toothache due to the fucking wisdom tooth.
Hungry but can't eat.
Drink milk shakes can never be that hard.
I am dying.
Let me die.
Temptation all over.
Overtook by temptation and I am freaking guilty.
When will it end?
I wondered
Monday, May 02, 2005
